


Something to believe in

by paintbug



Series: I never planned on you (Fake Dating au) [2]
Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Art Student Jack Kelly, Bisexual Jack Kelly, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Good Boyfriend Spot Conlon, Sad Jack Kelly, Soft Spot Conlon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2020-05-15 13:41:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19296898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintbug/pseuds/paintbug
Summary: It's the start of a new school year and Jack and Crutchie are facing it as a couple.The origins of their relationship are still a secret, but will their love remain strong as life and school get a whole lot more stressful?





	1. Just hold on, kid

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! i'm back!  
> I wasn't planning on being gone for so long but my exams started a lot sooner then expected.  
> However I finished them and I'm now on summer break until September!  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it took me a while to get back into the swing of writing but I think I've got it.  
> Thank you for your patience and enjoy!

Smile.

Don’t blink.

Shoulders back.

Hair away from your eyes.

Flash.

And relax. 

It was the same ritual every year. A picture in front of the door before the first day back after the freedom of summer break. Fortunately for Jack, this would be the last time he had to endure this painful, face aching routine.

Being the baby of the family, Jack gazed up to see his brother Spot’s wicked grin of amusement, a sight far more painful than that of the camera’s flash. If only the smirk could be rid of as  
quick the camera’s snap was. 

“Chin up, Jackie!” Spot started, his lopsided smirk widening so that it now took up almost a third of his freckled face. “you’ll ruin the pictures if you’re not careful!”

He peaked over their mother’s shoulder to take a glance at the picture. “Oh… spoke too soon!” He teased, a playful look on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Jack couldn’t help but roll his eyes at his brother’s comments. He shifted his stance a little, his worn, paint splattered trainers crunching against the gravel beneath him as he tried to please Medda and her continuous requests as the family’s sole photographer.

“Are we done, Mama?” Jack murmured, running a hand through his hair. It was shorter than usual, and he couldn’t quite get his usual grip on it, so his fingers just fell straight through to the back. If Jack had things his own way it would still be tickling his collar every time he moved. However, Crutchie had decided it was time for a change and dragged him out to a barber to get it  
cut short for the new school year. 

“This is gonna be our year!” Crutchie had beamed up at him as he sat waiting in front of the smeared glass mirror. “I know it!”  
It certainly didn’t feel like it yet, but Crutchie was right about most things, so Jack could only guess he’d be right about this one. Eventually.

For the first time since the start of high school, Jack was braving the first day alone. Freshman year he’d arrived alongside his new brother as a scrawny young teenager. Every year after that  
he’d been accompanied by his new friend Crutchie and sometimes his brother’s boyfriend Race. 

This time he had been determined to start the year with Crutchie by his side as his boyfriend. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way.

Crutchie had a doctor’s appointment for his leg on the morning of the first day back, meaning he wasn’t arriving until mid-morning. Spot had graduated just the year before and Race was getting the bus, which didn’t stop near enough to Jack’s house for him to join. So, he was walking on his own.

It didn’t help matters that Jack had woken with a dull thud behind his temples, alerting him of the potential migraine that could be replacing his boyfriend as his company for the school day.

At last, Medda announced Jack’s freedom in the form of a squeaked, “I got it!” as she gazed at her phone with a proud beam. Something Jack would never truly get used to. 

“right then,” Jack coughed to regain his voice. “I should head off,” he breathed, ducking to grab his bag and lift it up onto his shoulder. With a quick shrug to shift the weight into place and a gentle kiss to his mother’s cheek he departed from the safety of his home and began the walk to the hell that was high school.

It didn’t take long but to Jack it felt like an eternity. Every step brought with it a thud behind his eyes and a crunch beneath the too thin soles of his trainers. He should really get some new ones, Crutchie could help. But Crutchie wasn’t here, he was busy. He’d deserted Jack on the biggest day of the year and Jack wasn’t sure if he could make it out alive.

He knew he was being dramatic, but the first day back always gifted Jack with a bundle of overwhelming nerves. What classes would he be in? Who would be in them? Would he get the teachers he liked? Probably not. 

At least if Crutchie was there he’d have someone to hold onto. Someone to turn to after a class alongside the Delancey brothers. 

He wasn’t sure he could do this alone.

But he had to.

Jack had been holding on to a little hope that he’d arrive in time to find his friend group and tag along with them as they made their way inside. Of course, he hadn’t. 

Instead, just as he arrived, the bell rang, meaning he had to make a mad dash through the polished halls of the school with no time to stop at his locker. By the time he’d sat down at his first stop for the day he was out of breath, his bag hanging off his hand and the pounding of his skull had picked up with the pace of his heart. He slid into his seat with a disappointed hum of acknowledgement from his teacher. Releasing a sweaty sigh, he decided that maybe his hair cut wasn’t so bad after all.

The day continued in a somewhat similar fashion. No chance arose for Jack to empty his heavy bag into his locker, therefore causing his shoulder to grow an ache much like the one sitting just behind his eyes. Despite the many things weighing down his bag, Jack had forgotten to pick up a single packet of pain killers, which was only the icing on the cake. 

Crutchie didn’t arrive until the lunch period, which found Jack sitting amongst their friends, picking at the pasta Race had so kindly made for him the night before. 

Jack was so focussed on stabbing his shell of pasta right on its crease that he was completely oblivious to the tell-tale sign of his boyfriend’s crutch approaching behind him. 

The others around the table where much more aware of the new company, and Davey and Katherine couldn’t help but giggle as they watched their friend embrace his boyfriend from behind.

“Hey,” Crutchie whispered, resting his chin on Jack’s shoulder as he joined the pair opposite in their giggles. “How was your morning?” He asked, making note of the way the other boy flinched slightly against his hold.

“Okay,” Jack mumbled, scooting over so that Crutchie could sit down. “How was your appointment?” He asked, changing the subject easily. “Everything okay?” 

Crutchie just let off a small shrug, moving to grab his sandwiches from within his bag. “Not bad. Though they want to look into my ankle again.” 

Jack nodded slowly, his eyes falling into a slight squint as the movement jarred his headache. “Nothing bad though?” He asked, wanting to be sure everything was okay.

“No,” Crutchie hummed around a mouthful of ham and bread. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he added, watching Jack for a moment. 

He could always tell when Jack was having a bad day. The pale face ghosting past his fading sunburn, accompanied by the dark circles beneath his squinting eyes gave away his headache, only for the spontaneous winces to confirm his suspicions.

Passing his sandwich over to his other hand, Crutchie reached up to rest his hand at the base of Jack’s hair. His palm sat where the boy’s hair used to finish, and he slowly and carefully began to massage circles into the bottom of Jack’s head with the very tips of his fingers.

Jack couldn’t help but relax, his eyes fluttering shut briefly as he took a small bite of his cheesy lunch. “Thanks,” he breathed, shifting so that a little of his weight was resting against his boyfriends’ side.

Lunch continued and finished in a similar manner, Jack picking at his food while listening to the group’s conversations and Crutchie continuing to work towards easing his boyfriends’ discomfort. After a while Crutchie’s hand fell away to finish his lunch. Jack let out a pathetic whimper of complaint, but otherwise didn’t argue. He was just grateful he had a boyfriend who would look after him like Crutchie did. 

The group shared stories of their summer. Race was laughing about Spot’s ridiculous ideas for their wedding with only a small café job to fund it, while Albert and Elmer where discussing the water slide they had built in the park on one particularly warm day. 

Jack still couldn’t get over the fact that Race and his brother were getting married, despite one half of the relationship still being in high school. No one could deny it though; the pair were  
perfect for each other and they most definitely seemed ready.

It was the ringing of the bell that eventually broke the group of friends out of their conversations, sending them in multiple directions. 

Unfortunately for Jack it was towards the science block.

Jack had never been an academic child. He was good with words, but that was where his list of academic skills diminished. 

He’d spent the summer earning money by painting people’s walls for them, doing commissions and simply playing around with the new set of art supplies he’d been gifted for his birthday. 

No matter how hard he tried, Jack always found his way back to art.

His school timetable didn’t read an art class until the very end of the week, a whole four days away.

Jack sat through his science class with his eyes on the clock, watching every second bounce past at such a painstakingly slow rate that by the end of it he was adamant his heart rate had matched pace with it.

The pain in his head sure had.

By the time the bell rang for the end of the day, Jack couldn’t help but sing his praises to the gods above. After a quick stop to empty the contents of his bag into his locker, he made his way towards the tree just outside the doorway where he usually met up with Crutchie to walk home. 

As usual Crutchie was already waiting, leaning against the tree as he watched Jack stumble down the steps towards him. With a quiet coo to himself, he felt his expression soften as his boyfriend drifted closer. 

“Rough day?” He whispered, reaching to link his spare hand into Jack’s. Of course, they fit perfectly. 

A small winced nod from his boyfriend was all he needed to confirm that Jack was still suffering. “movie night it is,” Crutchie hummed, slowly beginning to lead Jack back towards his house.  
“I’m sure Medda can order us a pizza,” He added, knowing Jack’s mother well enough by now to know that she wouldn’t mind.

It didn’t take long for the pair to get back, kicking off their shoes and bundling up on the sofa beneath a mixed array of blankets and pillows. Once they’d surfaced from the jumble and chosen a film they had seen many times before (the first Guardians of the Galaxy), Jack had his head resting against Crutchie’s shoulder with his cheek squashed up beneath the weight of his head and his hand draped across Crutchies soft shirt, twitching the hem between his finger and thumb. 

After a moment of watching the opening sequence of the film, Jack tilted his chin upwards to gaze at his boyfriend. It was only a matter of seconds before Crutchie caught sight of his seeking pout and closed the distance between them. 

The kiss was short and sweet, leaving Jack with a giddy grin on his face as the pain killers kicked in and slowly started to grant him some relief. 

“I love you,” He whispered softly, nuzzling into Crutchie’s shoulder again.

Crutchie couldn’t help but giggle, placing another gentle kiss to his boyfriend’s temple. “I love you too,” he murmured, his lips still pressed against Jack’s hairline.

The pair settled down to watch the film, and if by the time the pizza arrived they were found by Race and Spot, fast asleep as the film played on. It was never mentioned.


	2. Soon we'll all be rich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot makes some sudden decisions and Jack makes some mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I had this whole story planned out and then I sat down to write this chapter and all my plans flew out the window. So for now we'll see how it goes and then maybe I'll try write out a plan again.  
> Anyway I hope you're all well and enjoy the chapter!

“I can’t believe you did that!”

“I couldn’t take it anymore!”

Jack had not been planning to wake up to a shouting match between his brother and Race. In fact, he hadn’t even been planning to wake up at all, he shouldn’t have been asleep to begin with. With a drowsy groan, he lifted his tired head from his desk to gaze groggily at his books. He’d been studying history, because his dumbass had decided he should take it to fill his extra class slot. Never had he regret anything more. 

With a quick glance at his desk clock to confirm that it was nearing six o’clock, Jack drew a heavy sigh and got up from his desk to search for the source of the yelling. As he stumbled down the stairs it became clear that the noise was coming from the kitchen, so Jack let his tired feet carry him closer to the raised voices.

“We had plans Spot!”

“I know! I know, okay?!”

Jack couldn’t help but hesitate as he stood outside the door to the kitchen. He wasn’t trying to listen in to their conversation, well yelling match, but he wasn’t sure whether he should go inside or simply leave them to it.

A loud huff from Spot however had him changing his mind. He knew how angry his brother could get, and he wasn’t about to stand by and let Race become victim to one of his shouting matches. 

“Why the fuck did you guys decide to wake me up?” Jack grumbled, pushing the kitchen door open to try and distract them from their ongoing disagreement. He couldn’t help but press the heel of his palm against his eyes to recover his foggy mind from the depths of his study time nap.

The argument cut out for a second, only for Spot to turn on Jack and claim him as the new culprit of his vulgar mood. “Language Kelly!”

Jack simply raised his hands in defence dropping down into a seat at the kitchen table. “Hey,” he mumbled. “you were the ones who-” However Jack never got to finish his sentence as almost immediately Race was speaking over him, his voice gradually rising in volume until it was mimicking the exact sound of the shouting that had awoken Jack just previously.

“He quit his job!” The boy snapped, throwing an angry arm up in the direction of his fiancé. 

This got Jack’s attention almost instantly, his head snapping up to look at his brother properly. “You what?!” 

“It was awful there! I couldn’t take it anymore!” Spot argued, and Jack found himself recalling that phrase from when he had first awoken to the commotion downstairs.

A tense silence filled the room. Race glared at Spot, but Spot just returned the stare, looking like a kicked puppy who had just learned how to bare his teeth. Neither of them moved, the only  
sound in the room being the consistent hum from the refrigerator and the creak from the table as Jack slowly tried to shift his weight against it without interrupting the vicious cycle of eye  
contact.

The silence was eventually broken by Jack himself. As he eventually gave up and just moved to rest his forehead on the heel of his palm, staring at the table so that he wouldn’t have to  
watch the pair in front of him. 

“Mama’s gonna kill you…” He mumbled, chewing at his lip as his eyes fell shut against the pressure of his hand.

Of course, it was that exact moment their mother arrived home. The trio looked up slowly as they heard Medda’s car pull up in the drive way promptly followed by the battle between her keys and the door. Jack leaned back in his chair a little as he listened as she dropped her keys into the bowl by the front door, Spot reaching up to tug at the ends of his hair in a moment of regret. 

Medda’s routine was the same every day. She returned home, made herself a cup of coffee and settled down with a book for a little while before she had to make dinner. The boys always left  
her to it, never interrupting as she relaxed in the evenings

No one moved as they heard Medda grow closer, none of them daring to break the trance they had set upon themselves when they first heard the car pull up. All three of them simply set their eyes upon the door, watching as it was pushed open.

Medda slipped inside, smiling at the group of boys before her as she placed her bag down on kitchen counter. Still no one moved, three pairs of eyes following Medda as she walked across  
the cold tiled floor. 

It didn’t take long for Medda to notice this, it never did. She knew when her boys where up to something and it was obvious now was that time. She turned so that her back was pressed  
against the counter, her arms drifting up to cross easily against her chest. A quick raise of her eyebrow was all the warning she gave before she spoke.

“What’s going on in here huh?” 

At first no one spoke. The silence between them had gone on for far too long now and it felt entirely inappropriate to break that vow of stillness and secrecy that had formed between them  
within the past few moments. Slowly, as though it seemed to be the only solution, Jack and Race moved to look at Spot. It was his news to tell.

“I uh-” Spot glared at his fiancé, hating that the space between them was just far enough to make him feel well and truly alone. “I quit my job.” 

It was said so quietly that it was a surprise anyone could hear him. However, Medda heard him loud and clear.

“The one at the café?” She asked calmly. Almost too calm. “You quit?” 

Race and Jack shared a worried look, unsure whether they wanted to be present for this conversation.

Medda didn’t stop there though. She watched her oldest son nod, fidgeting where he stood as he struggled to meet her eyes. “You know you have a wedding to pay for… right Sean?” Medda asked him, her voice still unnervingly calm.

Spot could only nod again, his hands sliding into his pocket in a fruitless attempt to hide his squirming. 

“How are you going to pay for that without a job?” 

Jack shuffled in his seat, watching the moment between his mother and Spot. Neither of them seemed to notice he was there. Race was somewhat involved in the context of the conversation, but Jack was simply witnessing the panic cross his brother’s face in what felt like slow motion.

He’d never seen Medda like this before and he was sure he could say the same for Spot. He’d seen her mad, he’d seen her disappointed and even upset. But this… this was something new. 

Jack watched as his brother shrugged slowly, eyes meeting his mothers with an odd mixture of determination and fear. 

“Well you better get another one and fast,” Medda told Spot, cocking her head to one side as she got ready to watch the boy as he took in what she was about to say. 

“Because this wedding…it’s on you two.” She nodded at Race suddenly including him within the conversation. “We agreed this, so you need to stick to it.” 

Jack hated how harsh Medda sounded in that moment, because he knew she was far from it. He also knew that Medda had given the couple a small fund for the wedding when they had first  
told her. However, they had quickly realised that they needed much more to fulfil their dreams of a perfect wedding day.

The room fell silent again, and Jack found himself wanting to shrink in on himself and escape this suffocating atmosphere.

Luckily it was Spot who came to his rescue with a small, mumbled reply.

“Yes, Mama.”

Just like that the tension dissipated and the group before him where able to breathe a little better. The conversation began to grow stronger and Medda pulled Spot into a hug with a motherly sigh. 

Jack took this moment to soundlessly excuse himself, slipping from the room as quickly as possible. A sigh of relief slipped past his sleep-chapped lips as he trudged up the stairs into the freeing isolation of his bedroom.

Scooping up his phone from his previously neglected desk, he flopped down onto his bed and unlocked the device. The lock screen was flooded with notifications and the bright light of the screen caused Jack to squint unknowingly. It was the messages within the notifications that worried him the most.

Crutchie ♥: Are you on your way?

Crutchie ♥: Jack?

Crutchie ♥: youre not answering your phone

Crutchie ♥: I guess date nights cancelled then?

Crutchie ♥: c u tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for Reading!   
> Comments are Kudos are, as always, greatly appreciated :)


	3. fam'ly looks out for each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot and Jack try to fix their mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!  
> It's been a while but I'm finally back!  
> This isn't a lot but I wanted to get something out there.  
> I have plans for the next few chapters which is fun! If things work out I hope to get them done soon.  
> I hope you enjoy :)

‘Hiya you’ve reached Crutchie. I can’t make it to the phone right now. Please leave a message.’

‘Hiya you’ve reached Crutchie...’

‘Hiya you’ve…’ 

‘Mailbox full’

Jack had been trying for 12 hours and 52 minutes to call Crutchie and so far, he was without success. At first his messages had been read and ignored, his calls ringing through to voicemail. However now the messages were left undelivered and his calls didn’t even hum before hitting the mailbox. He had left 17 voicemails before Crutchie’s phone ran out of room. Not that he was counting or anything. 

Throwing his phone down, Jack let his head fall against the car window. He watched through an exhausted squint as his brother shuffled back towards the car a dejected look on his face.

“No luck?” Jack asked as the older boy ducked into the driver’s seat and slammed the door.

“No.” Spot jammed the car key into the ignition, eliciting a jumpy start from the old engine. 

“How many more we got?”

“Three.” 

Spot had woken Jack at the crack of dawn, grumbling about leaving early to job hunt. Usually this wouldn’t be an issue, Jack would just get a ride from Crutchie. 

Unfortunately, Jack had lost that option. 

“Let’s just get it over with,” Jack grumbled, pulling his cap down over his eyes. He’d spent the night staring at the ceiling above his bed, mentally kicking himself for forgetting such an important thing, and now he was regretting the lack of sleep too. 

He could feel Spot’s eyes on him as they pulled out at a junction, heading towards another café. Ignoring the boy, Jack just shuffled in his seat, turning so that he couldn’t see past his own lap. 

“What’s got you in a sour mood?” He heard Spot ask, his voice was teasing but Jack could sense the underlying tone of worry. 

“Nuthin’” Jack huffed, his breath catching on the window. 

“Don’t seem like nuthin’” Spot mimicked. When Jack didn’t respond he sighed, leaning back as he pulled into a parking spot. “Something happen with Crutch?” He asked.

Jack’s only response was a slight intake of breath, which his brother took as confirmation. 

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked. “We can finish up here and I’ll buy you one of those stupid muffins you like.” 

Greeted with yet another lack of response, Spot sighed and got out the car. Leaving Jack with his thoughts again.

A buzz in his lap had Jack startling. He fumbled with his phone, trying to turn on the device. Finally getting a look at the dim screen, the hollow sense of disappointment from last night seemed to open up again. It was Race, wanting to know how much longer Spot would be. 

Of course, It wasn’t Crutchie.

He was probably busy.

Busy eating breakfast with his gran, getting ready for school, listening to their playlist. Busy without Jack. 

A slam of the car door drew Jack out of his thoughts again and a brown paper bag landed in his lap. 

“Triple chocolate with a slightly melted centre,” Spot said, raising an eyebrow as he recited his brother’s usual order. 

Jack slowly opened the bag, taking in the freshly baked muffin and a small carton of apple juice. His favourite.

“Thanks.”

-

Of course, they were late to school. Spot had made the mistake of ruffling his fiancé’s hair upon greeting and as a result he wasn’t allowed to start the car until Race had fixed his hair. Jack was had been forced into the back seat so that Race could sit up front. At least he had his muffin.

The bell rang as Spot pulled up outside, kicking the younger boys out with a quick goodbye, and a kiss on the cheek for Race. 

Jack glanced around the hallway, desperately trying to spot Crutchie within the last few dawdlers. No sign of him. 

With a small huff, he adjusted his cap again before trudging down the hallway to his first class. History. 

After the trouble it had caused him, Jack felt a strong hatred towards the subject. It was boring, no wonder he’d fallen asleep. Plus, why did he need to know about a bunch of dead guys?! 

He spent the hour doodling. Nothing in particular, just a bunch of shapes and a few sketches of the old doctor his teacher was rambling on about. 

By the time the bell finally rang, Jack had already packed up. He had to be the first out of the room. Crutchie had shown him his timetable for the year at some point the night before. Jack hadn’t taken too much notice but if he could remember correctly Crutchie was in English right now. He just had to make it to the other hallway   
in time. 

Shuffling through the crowds, Jack kept his head down, mumbling apologies when he bumped shoulders with a startled freshman. 

He made it just as the door to Crutchies classroom opened. A pile of students flooded out, each rushing to escape before the others. Jack knew Crutchie would be one of the last out, he always was. The other boy had a way of chatting with his teachers, making them all feel appreciated without sounding like he wanted something. 

Jack envied him for it. 

Two minutes passed and no one came out. Another minute and still nothing. Surely, he’d be on his way soon?

Jack moved closer to the door, peaking in through the window. The room was empty, save for a teacher sat at the desk. 

He’d got the wrong room. 

Turning around, Jack began to scan the hallway. Students where filing into classrooms for second period. If he didn’t see Crutchie now he’d have to wait until their first break period. He continued to look through the crowds and just as he was about to give up, he spotted him. 

A mess of ruffled hair bouncing through the hallway to the rhythm of a crutch. 

Jack began to weave his was through the crowds, his eyes focussed on the other boy. 

“Crutch!” he called, ducking between a younger couple. “Hey, Crutchie!”

The older boy turned, glancing over his shoulder. For a split second Jack was sure he was going to keep moving, but to his relief he stopped. 

Jack didn’t hesitate to speed towards him, apologies already spilling past his lips. 

“Just… leave it yeah?” Crutchie cut him off, leaning on his crutch so that he could adjust his bag. “You forgot, simple.” He murmured, looking up at Jack. “It’s fine.”

Jack couldn’t help but thrown at Crutchies bitter tone. Clearly it wasn’t fine, nor did Jack expect it to be. 

“Crutch… I didn’t mean to forget, I just fell asleep and then Spot was arguing with- “The final bell for classes rang, alerting the pair of the start of their lessons. 

“We’ll talk about it after school,” Crutchie mumbled, leaving no option to argue. He turned back to the direction he was heading and started towards his next class.

“Can I walk you?” Jack offered, reaching to take Crutchie’s bag. “I think I’m the room opposite you.”

Crutchie didn’t argue, which Jack saw as a success. He took the other boy’s bag and lifted it over his spare shoulder. 

“So, how’s your gran?” Jack asked, trying to make conversation. “She okay?” He prodded when he got no response.

Earning a simple shrug from Crutchie, Jack decided to try again. “You want a ride home? Spot’s picking me up today.” 

Jack was greeted with more silence. “He quit his job last night, can you believe it he just- “ 

“Jack can you just shut up for one moment?!” 

It was a response. 

But not the response Jack had been hoping for.

“I-”

Looking around Jack realised the hallway was empty, everyone else had made their way to class.

They where now stood outside Crutchie’s biology room, right opposite Jack’s chemistry class.

“We’ll talk about it after school,” Crutchie mumbled.

Jack could only watch as Crutchie pulled his bag off Jack’s now limp shoulder and trudged into his classroom.

Had he really messed up that bad?


	4. they don't much matter if you ain't with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Crutchie talk (finally)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> It's been a while but I really wanted to get back into writing but it took some time.  
> Anyway i'm gonna try update as regularly as possible, but I guess we'll see what happens.
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

By the time the final bell rang Jack was going out of his mind with worry. He hadn’t realised just how mad Crutchie was until their hallway encounter. He barely acknowledged the way he hurried through the school door, stumbling over his own feet in a race to reach the outside world. He needed to be ready, to make sure Crutchie wasn’t going to leave him. Both now and forever.

He didn’t have to wait long before he noticed the older boy heading towards him, his head down and his eyes on the floor.

“Hey…” Jack whispered. The hope was evident in his voice, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had to fix this and find out what was bothering Crutchie. 

“Hi.”

Much like earlier that day it wasn’t the response Jack had been hoping for. However it was a response and that was a hundred times better than what he’d received that same morning. 

“Spot’s out front.” Jack said. Crutchie still hadn’t looked up so he tried hard to make his smile evident in his voice. “You ready?”

A soundless “Yeah,” was all he got back, but he took it with a grin, shouldering Crutchie’s bag as he had done every day for the past three years. 

“Mama’s invited you for dinner,” Jack murmured softly as the made their way down the path. “It’s your favourite tonight.”

Crutchie simply nodded in response.

They reached Spot’s car shortly after, Jack made sure to hold the door for Crutchie before sliding in beside him.

Spot watched the interaction through his rear view mirror, noticing the way his brother looked at Crutchie with desperation. It was clear the day hadn’t gone well.

The drive was fairly quiet. Race had was stuck behind in detention, so the only noise was the low hum from the second-hand radio and the few questions Spot shot at the pair.

“So Crutch, how’s ya gran?” He asked, winking at the boy in his mirror. “Still as lovely as ever?”

Crutchie finally looked up at this. “She’s okay I guess.” 

“You guess?” Spot frowned, turning over his shoulder as they stopped at a red light. “you not sure?”

Jack turned his head to look at Crutchie’s face, his mouth falling open slightly in confusion as the pair waited for a response.

“I uh -” Crutchie shrugged. “It’s nothing much.” He mumbled, fiddling with his crutch. 

The car fell silent again, neither brother willing to push the subject any further.

By the time they made it to the house Jack was sure he was suffocating in the tension thick air. He knew something was wrong and he needed to fix it. Fast. 

-

They were barely through Jack’s bedroom door before he started. 

“Crutch, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you like this and now you’re mad and it’s the worst thing I-”

He was cut off by a pillow hitting him in the jaw.

“Just shut up you idiot,” Crutchie mumbled, no real anger in his voice. “Just let me speak for once.”

He waited, watching Jack carefully until the boy nodded.

“Okay, so,” Crutchie began, sucking in a slow breath. “Last night was date night, yes?” 

Jack nodded jerkily, looking like a child who was being lectured.

“And you fell asleep…” Crutchie motioned for Jack to fill in the blanks.

“Uh, studying,” Jack supplied, nodding to where his desk was in the same condition as the night before.

Crutchie gently sat on Jack’s bed, tossing his crutch to one side. “This has happened before Jack.”

“I know. I know! And it won’t happen again.” Jack said, sitting down backwards on his desk chair. “It ain’t happenin’ again I won’t forget.”

“But Jack you say this every time.” Crutchie argued, “And every time you say the same thing.. ‘I fell asleep’ or ‘I didn’t realise it was today.’”

Jack nodded, ducking his head in shame. “But I promise, this time I won’t mess it up..”

“I really needed you last night Jack,” Crutchie murmured. “And you let me down.”

“It was just date night Crutch, there will be more date nights.”

“It wasn’t just date night!” 

Crutchie didn’t mean to snap, but he needed Jack to realise that there was more to it this time. 

“it – I needed to talk to you,” Crutchie mumbled, trying to calm down again.

“Well you could have said!” Jack huffed, staring at the carpet as he hugged the back of his chair to his chest. “or called or, or something!”

Crutchie sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It isn’t that easy Jack.”

“Yes it is! You just – just pick up your phone or you head on over here or even-”

“Jack just- just let me speak!”

Jack went quiet, his teeth pulling at his lip.

Crutchie took a deep breath, hesitating before speaking again. “They’re operating on my ankle again.”

Jack looked up, teeth digging further into his lip. He didn’t speak, but he knew it was best he stayed quiet. Crutchie needed him to be.

“They want to try align it again, now that they know the last surgery worked.” Crutchie said, looking down at his ankle briefly. “I was going to tell you last night but-”

This time it was Jack's turn to interrupt. “I didn’t turn up…”

Crutchie simply nodded.

“Before you try again, don’t apologise. It’s done with,” Crutchie patted the bed beside him, hoping Jack would sit. “Just please don’t do it again… not right now.”

Jack crossed the short distance in two swift strides. “I won’t.” He whispered, looking into Crutchie’s eyes for the first time since the conversation had started.

“Good.” Crutchie leaned up, kissing the corner of Jack’s mouth. “I just.. really need you right now okay?”

His voice was barely there, but Jack understood him perfectly. He ever so carefully snaked an arm around Crutchie’s waist, pulling the boy into a hug. “I ain’ going nowhere.” He murmured, pressing his lips into   
his boyfriend’s hair.

They sat like that for a moment, just drinking in each other’s company. They both needed to feel the other near. 

After what felt like just a few second Crutchie sucked in a deep breath, inhaling the dark scent of his boyfriend for the first time in over twenty four hours. “I love you,” he exhaled, pressing a kiss to Jack’s   
shoulder.

“I love you too.” 

-

Neither of them moved until Medda called them down for dinner, her voice breaking them out of their embrace. 

“I guess we should head down,” Jack murmured into Crutchie’s hair. His arms were still wrapped around Crutchie, though one of them had slid up the smaller boy’s back to cup the base of his head. Almost   
making sure the other wasn’t going anywhere.

“Yeah,” Crutchie sighed sleepily. He had very nearly fallen asleep against Jack.

Jack couldn’t help but chuckle as he very reluctantly pulled away. “C’mon Mama would kill me if you missed your favourite.”

Crutchie giggled, sitting upright and grabbing his crutch.

Hand in hand the pair made their way down the stairs, smiling knowingly to one another as they heard a muffled argument from the kitchen.

Pushing the door open revealed a table full of books and magazines and amongst the mess Race and Spot. 

“Look we need a DJ!” Race was huffing, arms crossed against his chest as he leant back in his chair. “I refuse to use some stupid mix tape, probably from your car!”

“But look how expensive they are!” Spot argued, stabbing his finger into the open page of the nearest magazine.

Jack couldn’t help but stifle a giggle, glancing down at Crutchie, who rolled his eyes as he gazed back. 

“We are never getting married.”

Just like that Jack’s giggle faded.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading  
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated :)


End file.
